In the Soup

Do you spend some time and do a year end review for yourself? Some of my business tools provide me that data with some metrics and it often is shocking (mostly in a good way) of how much work I’ve accomplished in the year. If you are like me, I’m often so focused either in what needs to be done on my ToDo list now or what needs to be done in the future that I rarely look back at what I HAVE done. The same is true in personal growth. We look at what needs tending to or what we want to “fix” with that New Year’s Resolution. But how often do we take a look back and see how far we have come with our inner work?

I did something different this year and I plan on sharing more of that with you in future blogs and webinars. I often do something for myself around my birthday. I like to find a new modality to experience that can help me look within in a different way. I’ve done Tarot readings, psychic readings, sometimes it is a different kind of massage technique that sounds interesting. It maybe an interaction or go somewhere different. One year, I’d been wanting to get to a Raptor center for a long time so I took myself there and had an amazing experience communicating with the various raptors which taught me so much.

This year, I did my special treat a bit different in that I did my “new thing” BEFORE my birthday. I felt like I wanted to get into some serious growth and break through some blockages ahead of the birthday so I could start fresh in the new year. It has been a challenge too this time. Often, I come out feeling so terrific and just hit the ground running with this new found enlightenment. Although I had much enlightenment in this big session I experienced, I found myself more withdrawn and even a bit depressed. Thankfully, I recognize those emotions for what they are and it is part of the growth. It was such a deep session and experience that my brain is working overtime and very hard at integrating all that occurred. I’ve needed to sleep a lot and boy have I had some whopper dreams to process and think about.

I call this phase that feels like a depression and very sluggish feeling being in the “soup.” There is a phase when the caterpillar goes into the cocoon and it is no longer a caterpillar. It dissolves into this liquid slush of DNA that is working on integrating into the butterfly. But there is a period of time that is neither caterpillar nor butterfly. It is simply in this soupy mix. It can be quite uncomfortable. A part of me wants to hurry to the next phase. But this period of being in the soup is so vital in growth and it is where we often have such a hard time remaining. We rush through it or we go back to where it was more comfortable in that more known state. If we can hold out and stay in this state of discomfort for the time needed, allow ourselves to rest and trust this part of the process, then we can come out and experience that butterfly state.

I’m not sure where this new growth will take me. That unknown can be a bit daunting. But it has yet to fail me in providing me an awesome way of being. It has always been well worth that state of discomfort. In the mean time, while it is still a tad yucky feeling, I will breathe fully, allow it to be what it is, and be ever so grateful for this period of reflection and integration.